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AskWomen: Questions about women's thoughts, lives, and experiences
2010.07.17 02:42 ImpudenceAskWomen: Questions about women's thoughts, lives, and experiences
AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit.
2020.09.24 05:51 _fortniteking_Friend of mine was assaulted and doesn’t want me to tell a soul or confront the guy who did it. I don’t know what to do.
We are both 15 about to turn 16 in the next 3 months. This is a pretty long story. For some clarification I’m a guy and she’s a female. My friend was dating this guy called “Jacob”(fake name). Her and Jake seemed to like eachother very well. They were always together and I was happy for them. I too got into my own relationship about 2 months after she started dating Jake and I’m currently 7 months strong in my new relationship. Her and Jake broke up 4 months ago and she told me it was a mutual break up. I was never friends with Jacob. He seemed like a pretty cool guy but we just never really talked. Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago I made a groupchat for chemistry and added a bunch of people to it. My friend and Jacob are both in this chat. She begins talking shit about jacob every single time and they just argue. She calls him things like “little dick” and “asshole” “bitch” etc. Everyone who was aware of their relationship was very surprised as to why this was happening as she told everyone they both decided to mutually split and their relationship was going very well before it ended. She continuously shit talks him and threatens to expose his nudes then I call her out on her bs. She blocks me on Snapchat and doesn’t speak to me at all. Before she blocked me she tells me she has a genuine reason to be saying those stuff and I tell her that there’s no reason on earth she should say those stuff at all. Fast forward to yesterday she unblocks me on snap and apologizes. I tell her everything is okay but she should tell me why she said those stuff about Jacob because I still believed he was a genuinely good guy. She then opens up about what happened. While they were together Jacob took her out to the mall, forced her into a dressing room and forced her to give him a blowjob. She then gets up and leaves the dressing room and waited for her dad. I was really really brought back by this. Jacob seemed like such a good guy I really couldn’t believe he did this. She then showed me text messages of him apologizing for his actions and texts of him being creepy in other ways. She then tells me she’s only told 3 other people and she doesn’t want me to tell a soul. I don’t know what to do. I’m completely in shock and have no idea what to do. She seemed so fine on the outside but was really going through so much on the inside. I feel like a terrible friend. I want to help her but I don’t know how cause she doesn’t want me to do anything. She doesn’t want me to confront Jacob Or to mention this to anyone. She didn’t even tell her father when he came to pick her up. She seems completely normal and fine like this whole thing doesn’t bother her at all. I’m very confused on what to do. I thought about asking my girlfriend for advice on this but I promised my friend I won’t tell anyone or confront Jacob about it. What do I do? Just for clarification we are all 15 years old turning 16.(Sophomores)
2020.09.24 05:51 throwaway3839192My [F20] boyfriend [M19] doesn’t trim or style his hair anymore and I find it unflattering. Is it mean to say anything?
We have been dating for a few years. He’s the best! We get along great, communicate well, and feel like there could be a great future (but no rush!). I’m just having a hard time figuring out what’s the right thing to do in this situation. He hasn’t done any maintenance his hair in a long time, and I don’t really think it’s a flattering look on him. He’s had both short and long styles before, and he rocks either! I guess the difference is that those past looks still had some amount of trimming/framing/styling, as opposed to now where it’s unkempt and strangely layered because it hasn’t been touched up for so long. I asked if he was growing his hair out for a certain look as non-intrusively and politely as I could, and he said he just hasn’t thought about what he wants to do with his hair. He’s mentioned previously that he hasn’t really found a hairstyle he’s crazy about, so that could be a reason he doesn’t do anything with it. His hairline is also starting to recede a bit (It happens! Doesn’t make anyone any less lovely), he says it doesn’t bother him but that could be an additional reason. Every time I see him, I make a point to tell him that I always think he’s handsome and attractive and I love him no matter what. And I mean that. But I think taking care of your hair is important too, and while I do still find him very handsome, deep down I just like his appearance more when his hair is groomed/styled/thoughtfully trimmed in some way, not even anything fancy or that needs daily maintenance. Usually our communication is great, but I’ve been reluctant to bring up my thoughts on this because I love him too much to make him feel bad, unsupported, or pressured into making a choice he doesn’t truly like. What do you think is the right thing to do? Should I let it be? Tell him I like his hair better when it’s groomed in some way? Help him find a style/cut he likes or wants to try?
2020.09.24 05:51 ItsOngnotAngSo what do you think of the entire Breanna Taylor fiasco?
I hadn’t really looked into it. But apparently she was dating a criminal and was in business, or at least was helping out her ex-boyfriend. Who was also a criminal. Additionally, I’ve read that the police actually had a warrant to go arrest her. When they knocked on her door and busted through because of no answer, it was then that her current boyfriend shot at them. How many of you have ever read this information? How many of you will actually consider it instead of immediately dismissing it?
2020.09.24 05:49 66696669666Script/Command to update and scrape movies HELP
I was previously using a command/script to make TMM to update the movie list and the scrape the movies that haven't been scraped. Now for some reason I cannot get the command to work. This is the command: /volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/tinyMediaManagerCMD.sh -updateMovies -scrapeNew This is the log for that command: [email protected]:~$ /volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/tinyMediaManagerCMD.sh -updateMovies -scrapeNew 22:45:18,242 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.LoggerContext[default] - Could NOT find resource [logback-test.xml] 22:45:18,243 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.LoggerContext[default] - Could NOT find resource [logback.groovy] 22:45:18,243 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.LoggerContext[default] - Found resource [logback.xml] at [jar:file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/tmm.jar!/logback.xml] 22:45:18,279 -INFO in [email protected] - URL [jar:file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/tmm.jar!/logback.xml] is not of type file 22:45:18,419 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.joran.action.ConfigurationAction - debug attribute not set 22:45:18,423 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.StatusListenerAction - Added status listener of type [ch.qos.logback.core.status.OnConsoleStatusListener] 22:45:19,213 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - About to instantiate appender of type [ch.qos.logback.core.ConsoleAppender] 22:45:19,220 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - Naming appender as [CONSOLE] 22:45:19,244 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.NestedComplexPropertyIA - Assuming default type [ch.qos.logback.classic.encoder.PatternLayoutEncoder] for [encoder] property 22:45:19,294 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - About to instantiate appender of type [ch.qos.logback.core.rolling.RollingFileAppender] 22:45:19,301 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - Naming appender as [FILE] 22:45:19,307 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.NestedComplexPropertyIA - Assuming default type [ch.qos.logback.classic.encoder.PatternLayoutEncoder] for [encoder] property 22:45:19,317 -INFO in [email protected] - setting totalSizeCap to 1 GB 22:45:19,322 -INFO in [email protected] - Archive files will be limited to [10 MB] each. 22:45:19,327 -INFO in [email protected] - Will use gz compression 22:45:19,330 -INFO in [email protected] - Will use the pattern logs/tmm.%d.%i.log for the active file 22:45:19,335 -INFO in [email protected] - The date pattern is 'yyyy-MM-dd' from file name pattern 'logs/tmm.%d.%i.log.gz'. 22:45:19,336 -INFO in [email protected] - Roll-over at midnight. 22:45:19,343 -INFO in [email protected] - Setting initial period to Wed Sep 23 22:44:03 CDT 2020 22:45:19,348 -INFO in [email protected] - Cleaning on start up 22:45:19,356 -INFO in c.q.l.core.rolling.helper.TimeBasedArchiveRemover - first clean up after appender initialization 22:45:19,357 -INFO in c.q.l.core.rolling.helper.TimeBasedArchiveRemover - Multiple periods, i.e. 32 periods, seem to have elapsed. This is expected at application start. 22:45:19,359 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.rolling.RollingFileAppender[FILE] - Active log file name: logs/tmm.log 22:45:19,360 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.rolling.RollingFileAppender[FILE] - File property is set to [logs/tmm.log] 22:45:19,362 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - About to instantiate appender of type [ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender] 22:45:19,366 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - Naming appender as [ASYNC_FILE] 22:45:19,367 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderRefAction - Attaching appender named [FILE] to ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_FILE] 22:45:19,368 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_FILE] - Attaching appender named [FILE] to AsyncAppender. 22:45:19,370 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_FILE] - Setting discardingThreshold to 0 22:45:19,374 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - About to instantiate appender of type [ch.qos.logback.core.FileAppender] 22:45:19,375 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - Naming appender as [FILE_TRACE] 22:45:19,377 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.NestedComplexPropertyIA - Assuming default type [ch.qos.logback.classic.encoder.PatternLayoutEncoder] for [encoder] property 22:45:19,379 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.FileAppender[FILE_TRACE] - File property is set to [logs/trace.log] 22:45:19,381 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - About to instantiate appender of type [ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender] 22:45:19,381 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderAction - Naming appender as [ASYNC_TRACE] 22:45:19,382 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderRefAction - Attaching appender named [FILE_TRACE] to ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_TRACE] 22:45:19,382 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_TRACE] - Attaching appender named [FILE_TRACE] to AsyncAppender. 22:45:19,382 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_TRACE] - Setting discardingThreshold to 0 22:45:19,384 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.joran.action.LoggerAction - Setting level of logger [org.tinymediamanager] to TRACE 22:45:19,384 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderRefAction - Attaching appender named [CONSOLE] to Logger[ROOT] 22:45:19,384 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderRefAction - Attaching appender named [ASYNC_FILE] to Logger[ROOT] 22:45:19,384 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.core.joran.action.AppenderRefAction - Attaching appender named [ASYNC_TRACE] to Logger[ROOT] 22:45:19,384 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.joran.action.ConfigurationAction - End of configuration. 22:45:19,386 -INFO in [email protected] - Registering current configuration as safe fallback point 2020-09-23 22:45:19,433 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:135 - ===================================================== 2020-09-23 22:45:19,439 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:136 - === tinyMediaManager (c) 2012-2020 Manuel Laggner === 2020-09-23 22:45:19,440 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:137 - ===================================================== 2020-09-23 22:45:19,444 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:138 - tmm.version : 3.1.9 2020-09-23 22:45:19,451 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:139 -os.name: Linux 2020-09-23 22:45:19,452 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:140 - os.version : 4.4.59+ 2020-09-23 22:45:19,453 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:141 - os.arch : amd64 2020-09-23 22:45:19,455 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:142 - java.version : 1.8.0_212 2020-09-23 22:45:19,456 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:143 - java.maxMem : 455 MiB 22:45:19,482 -INFO in c.q.l.core.rolling.helper.TimeBasedArchiveRemover - Removed 0 Bytes of files 2020-09-23 22:45:20,385 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:597 - current encoding : UTF-8 UTF8 UTF-8 2020-09-23 22:45:20,386 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:156 - System language : en_US 2020-09-23 22:45:20,386 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:157 - GUI language : en_US 2020-09-23 22:45:20,607 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:158 - Scraper language : English 2020-09-23 22:45:20,717 INFO [main] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:159 - TV Scraper lang : English 2020-09-23 22:45:20,828 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.core.Utils:1449 - Failed to create zip file: null 2020-09-23 22:45:20,829 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.core.Utils:1449 - Failed to create zip file: data/backup/ 2020-09-23 22:45:20,830 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.core.Utils:1449 - Failed to create zip file: data/backup/ 2020-09-23 22:45:20,889 INFO [headless] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:187 - ===================================================== 2020-09-23 22:45:20,890 INFO [headless] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:215 - starting tinyMediaManager 2020-09-23 22:45:21,011 ERROR [headless] o.tinymediamanager.thirdparty.MediaInfo:630 - Failed to load mediainfo java.lang.UnsatisfiedLinkError: Unable to load library 'zen': libzen.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory libzen.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory Native library (linux-x86-64/libzen.so) not found in resource path ([file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/tmm.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/FastInfoset.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/aXMLRPC.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/activation.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/animated-gif-lib.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/asm.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/betterbeansbinding-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/betterbeansbinding-el.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/betterbeansbinding-swingbinding.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/cling-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/cling-support.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/commons-codec.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/commons-compiler.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/commons-io.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/commons-lang3.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/commons-text.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/converter-gson.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/glazedlists.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/gson.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/h2-mvstore.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/imgscalr-lib.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/isoparser.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/istack-commons-runtime.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jISO8601.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jackson-annotations.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jackson-core-asl.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jackson-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jackson-databind.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jackson-mapper-asl.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/janino.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jaxb-api.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jaxb-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jaxb-impl.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jcl-over-slf4j.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jmte.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jna-platform.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jna.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/joda-time.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jsoup.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jsr173_api.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jsr305.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/jtidy.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/kodi-json-rpc.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/logback-classic.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/logback-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/logging-interceptor.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/loop-fs-api.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/loop-fs-iso-impl.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/loop-fs-spi.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/loop-fs-udf-impl.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/lwjgl-nfd.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/lwjgl.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/miglayout-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/miglayout-swing.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/muxer.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/nanohttpd.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/okhttp-urlconnection.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/okhttp.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/okio.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/retrofit.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/seamless-http.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/seamless-swing.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/seamless-util.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/seamless-xml.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/slf4j-api.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/thetvdb-java.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/threetenbp.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/tmdb-java.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/trakt-java.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/common-image.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/imageio-metadata.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/imageio-core.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/common-io.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/common-lang.jar, file:/volume1/docketinymediamanageconfig/lib/imageio-jpeg.jar])
2020-09-23 22:45:21,015 ERROR [headless] o.t.thirdparty.MediaInfoUtils:108 - could not load MediaInfo! 2020-09-23 22:45:21,017 ERROR [headless] o.t.thirdparty.MediaInfoUtils:110 - Please try do install the library from your distribution 2020-09-23 22:45:21,149 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:361 - IllegalStateException java.lang.IllegalStateException: The file is locked: nio:data/movies.db [1.4.197/7]
22:45:21,155 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_FILE] - Worker thread will flush remaining events before exiting. 22:45:21,158 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_FILE] - Queue flush finished successfully within timeout. 22:45:21,159 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_TRACE] - Worker thread will flush remaining events before exiting. 22:45:21,160 -INFO in ch.qos.logback.classic.AsyncAppender[ASYNC_TRACE] - Queue flush finished successfully within timeout. These are the errors I found: 2020-09-23 22:45:20,828 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.core.Utils:1449 - Failed to create zip file: null 2020-09-23 22:45:20,829 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.core.Utils:1449 - Failed to create zip file: data/backup/ 2020-09-23 22:45:20,830 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.core.Utils:1449 - Failed to create zip file: data/backup/ 2020-09-23 22:45:21,011 ERROR [headless] o.tinymediamanager.thirdparty.MediaInfo:630 - Failed to load mediainfo java.lang.UnsatisfiedLinkError: Unable to load library 'zen': libzen.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory libzen.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory Suppressed: java.lang.UnsatisfiedLinkError:libzen.so: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory
`at` [`com.sun.jna.Native.open`](https://com.sun.jna.Native.open)`(Native Method)` `at com.sun.jna.NativeLibrary.loadLibrary(`[`NativeLibrary.java:191`](https://NativeLibrary.java:191)`)` `... 24 common frames omitted` `Suppressed: java.lang.UnsatisfiedLinkError:` [`libzen.so`](https://libzen.so)`: cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory` `at` [`com.sun.jna.Native.open`](https://com.sun.jna.Native.open)`(Native Method)` `at com.sun.jna.NativeLibrary.loadLibrary(`[`NativeLibrary.java:204`](https://NativeLibrary.java:204)`)` `... 24 common frames omitted` `Suppressed: java.io.IOException: Native library (linux-x86-64/libzen.so) not found in resource path`
2020-09-23 22:45:21,015 ERROR [headless] o.t.thirdparty.MediaInfoUtils:108 - could not load MediaInfo! 2020-09-23 22:45:21,017 ERROR [headless] o.t.thirdparty.MediaInfoUtils:110 - Please try do install the library from your distribution 2020-09-23 22:45:21,149 ERROR [headless] org.tinymediamanager.TinyMediaManager:361 - IllegalStateException java.lang.IllegalStateException: The file is locked: nio:data/movies.db [1.4.197/7]
Chase 5/24 status: 3/24 until Sept 2021, then 2/24
Average monthly spend and categories: Not that big of a spender
travel: $0 ATM - possibly in the next year will increase
other: ranges from $100-200 *Recently made 2 big purchases on laptop and tablet. Plan on having 2k+ spend in the next couple of months
Open to Business Cards: Probably can't reach SUB spend
What's the purpose of your next card? Cashback / Travel (Starting graduate school next Fall, will probably be travelling more often across the US.)
Do you have any cards you've been looking at? Thinking of getting the CSP for the 80k SUB in early November (not sure if I'll get approved due to high velocity) and possibly downgrading to FU depending on future value. I also have a 75k Amex gold prequal offer so possibly that? Not too sure.
Are you OK with category spending or do you want a general spending card? No preference
2020.09.24 05:49 ILikeToEatMyGfI'm destroying my life because I'm too emotionally weak to fix it
I guess for some context, I grew up in a troubled family (divorces, mostly absent father figure, step dad shot himself, homeschooled so no social interaction in childhood). I go to college now with a full scholarship for a degree in liberal arts. As I was growing up and up till recently, I never expressed much emotion. I quite frankly didn't understand them myself. I always thought I was really tough, I can't be offended or hurt by other peoples' words (I still think that's true). But I have extreme loneliness, but at the same time, I love being alone (I detest social gatherings, they actually make me feel sad). I met a girl on r4r and we had a year-long in-real-life relationship (which now I realize was abusive for the both of us). She broke up with me over text after a year, which left me completely devastated. I felt like I was just thrown away like unwanted trash, especially after we had sacrificed so much for each other. I reunited with my online friends, who I know do really care for me and I'm so so so grateful for them. But I'm not doing well in life. I'm financially secure, no debt, have a car, live in my mom's very nice house, have basically free college, but I'm failing at life. I've withdrawn from 2 classes (I'm under 12 credits now). I spend hours a day just in bed hugging a pillow because I miss hugging a girl in real life. My room's a mess. At the same time, I have started going to the gym, but the gains are slow and painful. I'm 5ft 10, 160lbs, and I hate how I look and know it will be a long time before I even have a chance of being high value enough to girls I'd want to date (also I am only interested in serious long-term relationships, which cuts out most girls my age). I've joined a club in my university with like-minded people in hopes of making friends there, but with COVID everything is over Zoom and it just sucks. Anyways, I don't know where I'm going with this. I love love love love driving with music. It calms me and if I do 100+MPH in a 2-lane 35MPH road at night it really clears up my emotions quick (that's a desperate last resort because I do not want jail obviously). I understand now why people abuse drugs, because that "high" from doing something so thrilling is incredible. I can only imagine what those chemicals can make you feel, though I will never do it because that will surely send my life to the dumpster. I feel good playing games with my online friends. But these are just crutches I use to hide from my problems of being lonely. I've been thinking of joining the National Guard for some direction in life but I'm absolutely horrible at running. I tried working on it but quite frankly I've never hated doing something more - again, this is an example of my lack of determination. I have 2 very important classes tomorrow that I haven't prepared for at all. I'm gonna try to pull an overnighter to learn the required material. Peace!
Putting a trigger warning because of speculation on it, just to be on the safe side if that topic disturbs you! I’m curious what is “normal” versus possible trauma symptoms. Be gentle with my lack of knowledge 😅 Grew up in a super conservative not-quite-fundie household so I mean, my sex talk didn’t even involve anatomical language. I have no idea what’s developmentally just normal. My mom has always commented on how ever since I was a young kid, like toddler or PreK, I had a fixation on masturbation/“rubbing” myself. She tried to get me to stop and I never broke the habit. Ok. I feel like to some extent that’s probably normal for kids to explore, but she always differentiated me from my sister in that regard. This was something memorable for her that I had a problem with. I have a ton of memory gaps I’m working through. But I know by around age 6.5 at least, which I can date because of the house, I was essentially “getting off” on violent self harming fantasies. I was constantly imagining being tortured, beaten, tied up, sold, and it caused that “feeling” down there that led me to compulsively masturbate to those fantasies. That was kind of a constant thing, in various themes and characters, for years. Always in a fantasy world, and always that kind of imagining the worst possible thing I could think of. I don’t recall exactly what year or how old I was when it switched to becoming sexual in nature and wish I did because it might be telling. But it did. Inevitably it shifted to rape, bdsm, torture porn kind of stuff. For sure by 13 because of writings I have. So possibly just normal because puberty? But I’ve always felt ashamed of how crossed those wires are and wondered if I crossed them myself somehow. I’m an adult, married, and still can’t uncross them. Sex is tied to humiliation feelings and violence to be aroused and it’s frustrating. I guess I’m wondering if this is any kind of red flag that something sexual could have gone down as a kid that I’ve forgotten. Or if it’s possibly just a normal child behavior, albeit a bit darkened. My mom is a narcissist and there was a lot of isolation and emotional abuse, as well as some physical that I’ve recently recalled. Would that explain this? I’ve always been so ashamed and confused and it’s so hard to sort out how to find out what’s even range of normal for different experiences. I don’t want to read too much into this. But I have reasons I’ve been suspecting I may be in the process of having memories bubble up of possible sexual abuse at age 11, because of body memories coming up and emotional flashbacks as well as uncovered circumstantial evidence. But it got me thinking on how some of these behaviors started before that and wondering if it was normal or weird.
2020.09.24 05:48 King_RezzI lost someone because of my depression......i just need to talk.
Ok, so me (male 28) and the mother of my child (female 27) were together for 5 years and we broke up in October 2018. No cheating, but my depression made me stop caring about her and my child mentally and even in some cases emotionally. No dates and I secluded myself from my family and her family. I was hard to talk to at times and I just stop hearing her cries for help. I looked into other sources attempting to bury or hide it not trying to stress her out about my suicidal thoughts and ignored her and my child for months while in the same household. She'll probably never forgive me, and that's ok, but i also want to forgive myself. After she kicked me out or in her eyes i left (july 2019) because she really started to really dislike me I couldn't and did not want to keep my child where I was staying, so I would go over there and see her and was there finically still. She started blaming me for not helping and because of my credit (paying Bills with my credit cards when she was low on money and signing on a car she got repossessed) I couldn't even get a apartment until I worked on it. calling herself a single mother......hurt hearing that when I was there. Got depressed again because life was just kicking my ass (got sick and couldn't work for months) so i disappeared. Almost ended my life but remembered my child. I was Staying with my dad and one minute he would say it's cool to take a room and keep my kid, and the next I was getting to comfortable and had to leave soon. Imagine hearing all the time how much of a bad dad you are and you aren't shit, and constantly being reminded of it because you cant keep your child. She's moved on....well I think. She says she has forgiven me and herself for the failure of our relationship but still doesn't like me. which is fine. shes not obligated to. Just wanted to be cordial and nothing more. I agree. Told me she was in love with someone, then said days later she wasnt talking to someone "romantically". Trying to make me jealous? Who knows, but This isn't a post about trying to get her back.....no. That story is done. I wanted the scream my feelings to her. I tried so damn hard....now...she wont even speak to me....doesnt want to even look at me. i put all my damn attention onother shit afraid to tell her that if i stopped occupying my mind.......she was going to lose me forever. didn't want to drag her down...and i did emotionally and mentally anyway. im having a hard time forgiving myself. used me for sex after the relationship and me thinking i could win her back by doing that...get my family back. get my love back. I expressed myself in the wrong way. yelling...screaming. She thought i hated her..............no.........i hated myself. Sayingf things like " i love the potential in you".......so she didn't see me? she didnt see my pain, or she just didn't care because i couldn't give her what she wanted.
Simplicity - A 'one-liner' completely configures XFCE 4.14 on Ubuntu 20.04 in WSL
Much-improved desktop experience: Updated xrdp to 0.9.13 and performance improvements in many areas (ie: Fullscreen TuxRacer and Minecraft, full-screen YouTube video, fluid desktop effects)
Copy/Paste text and images work reliably between Windows and Linux in both directions
RDP Audio playback enabled (YouTube playback in browser works well with no audio/video desync)
Runs on Windows Server 2019 or Windows 10 Version 1809 (or newer, including Hyper-V Core)
xWSL 1.1 The xWSL instance is accessible from anywhere on your network, connect to it via the MS Remote Desktop Client (mstsc.exe) You will see best performance connecting from the local machine or over gigabit ethernet. INSTRUCTIONS: From an elevated prompt, change to your desired install directory and type/paste the following command:
You will be asked a few questions. The install script finds out the current DPI scaling from Windows; you can set your own value if preferred:
xWSL Installer Enter a unique name for the distro or hit Enter to use default [xWSL]: Set custom DPI scale or hit Enter to use Windows value : Port number for xRDP traffic or hit Enter to use default : Port number for SSHd traffic or hit Enter to use default : [Not recommended!] Type X to eXclude xWSL from Windows Defender: xWSL to be installed in C:\Users\TestUser\xWSL
The installer will download the Windows Store Ubuntu image and the customizations located in this repository. Near the end of the script you will be prompted to create a non-root user which will automatically be added to sudo'ers.
Enter name of xWSL user: zero Enter password: ******** SUCCESS: The scheduled task "xWSL" has successfully been created. Start: Wed 09/23/2020 @ 15:37:23.97 End: Wed 09/23/2020 @ 15:50:17.19 Packages: 911 - xRDP Server listening on port 3399 and SSHd on port 3322. - Links for GUI and Console sessions have been placed on your desktop. - (Re)launch init from the Task Scheduler or by running the following command: schtasks /run /tn xWSL xWSL Installation Complete! RDP Client will start in a few seconds...
Currently you should see approximately 911 packages installed. If the number reported is lower it means you had a download failure and should uninstall and re-start the installation. Upon completion the Remote Desktop client will launch a functional XFCE4 Desktop. A scheduled task is created for starting/managing xWSL. If you want to start xWSL at boot (like a service) perform the following steps:
Right-click the task in Task Scheduler, click properties
Click the checkboxes for Run whether user is logged on or not and click OK
Enter your Windows credentials when prompted
To restart the instance: (In this example using the default distro name of 'xWSL')
schtasks /run /tn xWSL
To terminate the instance:
schtasks /end /tn xWSL
Convert to WSL2 Virtual Machine:
xWSL can convert easily to a WSL2 VM if required. First convert the instance: wsl --set-version [DistroName] 2
Change the hostname in the .RDP connection file to point at the WSL2 instance. Assuming we're using the default distribution name of xWSL (use whatever name you assigned to the distro) Right click the .RDP file in Windows, click Edit. Change the Computer name to your Windows hostname and add -xWSL.local to the end.
For example, if the current value is LAPTOP:3399, change it to LAPTOP-xWSL.local:3399 and save the RDP connection file. Your WSL2 instance resolves seamlessly with the Windows host using multicast DNS.
Make it your own: It's highly advisable to fork this project into your own repository so you have complete control over the packages and scripts in the repository, making further customization easy:
Sign into GitHub and fork this project
Edit xWSL.cmd. On line 2 you will see SET GITORG=DesktopECHO - Change DesktopECHO to the name of your repository.
Personalize the script with dev toolkits or whatever it is you're working on.
Launch the script using your repository name: PowerShell -executionpolicy bypass -command "wget https://github.com/YOUR-REPO-NAME/xWSL/raw/mastexWSL.cmd -UseBasicParsing -OutFile xWSL.cmd ; .\xWSL.cmd"
Quirks Addressed / Additional Info:
xWSL works fine with an X Server instead of xRDP but this has not been thoroughly tested. The file /etc/profile.d/WinNT.sh contains WSL-centric environment variables that may need adjustment such as LIBGL_ALWAYS_INDIRECT.
WSL1 Has issues with the latest libc library. The package is being held so unmark and update libc after you get the updated WSL kernel:  KB4571748 * [1903/1909] KB4566116 *  KB4571756
WSL1 Doesn't work with PolicyKit. Pulled-in GKSU and dependencies to accommodate GUI apps that need elevated rights.
Mozilla Seamonkey is bundled as a stable browser that's kept up to date via apt. Current versions of Chrome / Firefox do not work in WSL1.
Installed image consumes approximately 2.6 GB of disk space
XFCE uses the Plata (light or dark) theme and Windows fonts (Segoe UI / Cascadia Code)
This is a basic installation of XFCE to save bandwidth. If you want the complete XFCE Desktop environment run sudo apt-get install xubuntu-desktop
2020.09.24 05:47 FrostFireFiveCenturions #2 - Into the Fire
Centurions Issue #2 - Into the Fire Written By: FrostFireFive Edited by: u/duelcard, u/DarkLordJurasus Arc: Draft Day “Oh come on guys! We just got here,” Morph said as he ran, dodging the metal ball flying at his face. It had only been one minute since he had appeared in that alleyway, his mind racing from where he was. One moment in his dingy apartment, the next standing with five strangers and definately far far from home. “Oh sure you did,” Thunderball said as he yanked his ball and chain back. “You don’t dress like that if you’re not going out and stopping guys like us.” “You know...that is a good point.” Morph said before elongating his legs and leaping up in the air. The five that had beamed into that alleyway had all scattered on the outside of the bank. Morph was the first one to run, his shapeshifting abilities going into overdrive as he adjusted to the new world. The rest soon quickly ran out as well. Mimic quickly steeled up as he charged at Bulldozer. The orange foe and him slammed together. As they began to tussle Mimic strained against Piledriver, the one downside of being a power mimic was that he wasn’t as strong as the originals. Pitor would have taken down a clown like this easily. As he pushed against the brute he noticed the Iron Man floating above watching them all. “T.O.N.I,” Arno Stark said as he looked down at the skirmish between these strangers. “Start collecting information on wherever we are. Important events, people, businesses...and figure out exactly who was in that alley with us.” “On it boss,” the AI responded. “Do you want to help them down below?” “No, let’s see who wins first before taking any action.” To the right of Mimic, near the bank steps, Wrecker swung his crowbar at Blink. The green jacketed and purple masked villain was baffled by her. Normally when dealing with resistance he could bash it away with his crowbar but every time he swung at Blink she’d appear just far away for him to wiff. “Come on girl, quit dodging and actually fight…” Wrecker said before stumbling forward as Blink teleported behind him. Quickly she conjured an energy staffed and swept him off of his feet. Clarice Furigson didn’t have time for this shit. She clearly was far from home, and needed to get back. Xavier needed to die, and being here didn't achieve that goal any faster. She needed to figure out where here was and then kill the traitor: Jean Grey. Marvel Girl meanwhile still stood in that alley way, dropping on the floor and hyperventilating. She still could feel the warm hum of the pink energy blade of blink. “Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic,” she thought to herself as the chaos that faced her raged on. All she wanted to be was home, listening to David Cassidy and figure which go go boots went with her blue with purple swirl dress for her date that night. “Hey! Marvel Girl!” Morph called out as his torso flexed around Thunderball’s ball and chain. “Little help here!” She looked over the shape shifter as Thunderball had him pinned down. The ball and chain was coming back and forth so quickly that Morph was continuously playing defense. He needed an opening. “What do you need me to do!” Marvel Girl called out as she slowly got up and dusted off her green dress and straightened out her pointed yellow mask. Figure this out first, panic later. “Well which one are you, Madelyne Pryor from the recent reboot? Rachel from that horrible reboot? Or the classic Jean?” “The professor said I’m not supposed to reveal my secret identity just like that.” “Classic Jean then,” Morph thought before getting hit by Thunderball, tumbling to the ground. “Use your mind powers or something before I get my ass kicked! Or at least ruin my perfectly good looking face before a shoot.” “But..I’ve never lifted something...that big before…” “Will you two shut up!” Thunderball said as he swung his ball again. “I came here to rob a bank, not deal with you two chatting. Either fight or get out of the way.” “Listen Mr...I’m sorry what was your name again?” Morph said as he dodged. “It’s Thunderball, and the last name you’ll ever…” “So I’m fighting against the Bond movie filmed twice?” Morph said his suit became a tuxedo and a slick full head of black hair appeared on his head. “Do you go introducing yourself as ‘Ball. Thunderball.’?” “SHUT UP!” Thunderball cried out before swinging again. The ball was coming straight at Morph’s face. Morph closed his eyes expecting to be hit dead in his face. However, instead of sending him flying back the hit never came. Marvel Girl strained as one hand was on the side of her temple and the other outreached as purple energy could be visible from her head. She had managed to hold the ball in place, but felt faint. There was a difference from the small training gear in the danger room to an actual wrecking ball. “Please hurry…” she mumbled. “On it!” Morph said before embiggening his fists and slamming them into Thunderball. “Reboot this!” Thunderball went flying into the pavement, tumbling on the gravel before trying to get back up and collapsing. “Hooray for teamwork,” Morph joked before noticing the weakened Marvel Girl. “Steady there,” he said before holding on to her and moving away from the chaos around them. Hopefully the others could take down the rest. … Mimic was losing ground to Bulldozer. The foe was tougher than he expected underneath the orange and metal armor. Normally he should have wiped the floor with him, using his combination of powers to beat this mook. Yet...his heart wasn’t in it. Cal Renkin didn’t know where he was or whether he could get back home. “What’s a matter freak,” Bulldozer gritted through his teeth. “Feeling tired already from my power? Nothing can beat this suit, which means nothing can beat me.” “Must be your first time in it,” Mimic said. “Because you suck at banter.” “Don’t need to banter to wipe the floor with you,” Bulldozer said before throwing a punch into Mimic’s face. The mutant staggered backwards, his vision blurry and unaware of the orange foe grabbing him and tossing him hard into the air. As he went airborne Mimic assumed he’d go up and then come quickly crashing down. However, he had forgotten about that Iron Man. THUNK! Mimic crashed into Arno as he was continuing to collect data into the world. Arno not being prepared for it was quickly knocked back to the ground himself with Mimic. “What the hell was that for!” Arno’s cold robotic voice called out. He quickly raised his gauntlet at the unsteeled Mimic in anger. “T.O.N.I, damage report!” “All systems are fine boss,” the AI responded. “And I think you should worry more about the figure behind you sir.” Before Arno could turn around he was slammed hard into the ground by Bulldozer. It wasn’t Mimic he had to worry about, it was this clown. Arno slowly got up and looked at Bulldozer. He recognized that he had basically strapped kinetic discharge machines to his hands, feet, chest, and head. Basically the more energy he took in, the stronger he got. But that also meant that you could over power the system with too much energy. “Hey!” he said before looking at Mimic. “Do you have any other powers or is it just the metal skin?” “I’ve got a few,” Mimic said as he got back up. “If you got any blasts use it now!” Arno said before raising both arms up and firing a steady stream of energy at Bulldozer. He staggered back a bit before standing up again and slowly moving to Arno. If that fool didn’t have any surprises he would be roasting in the tin can coffin of his suit. BZZZZT A stream of red concussive force came out Mimic’s eyes and pushed Bulldozer into the repulsor blast of Iron Man. Bulldozer’s body jerked around and the equipment began smoking, the combined attack was working as Bulldozer finally slumped to the ground. Mimic took a deep breath before rubbing his eyes. It had been forever since he used Scott’s powers, and he always forgot how itchy his eyes felt after unleashing an optic blast. As Mimic picked himself up he saw Bulldozer laying on the ground next to him and Iron Man. “Thanks for the save Tony,” Mimic mumbled. “I’m not Tony,” Arno said before getting up. The nanites that made up his face plate retreated as his clean shaven face came into view. “So your familiarity isn’t going to help you here. Tell me exactly why you brought me here, or I’ll start getting serious.” Arno raised his gauntlet at Mimic ready to blow a hole in his chest. “He’s not the one that brought you here,” Blink said as she ported in. “He’s just as clueless as the rest of us.” “And you know this why?” Arno said with a raised eyebrow. “Because if he brought you here he would have known you’re not whoever this Tony Stark is.” Arno lowered his arm and surveyed the damage. Sirens could be heard from the background as the police finally made their way to the bank. He could see that red head and shape shifter behind Blink. They seemed to be exhausted from taking out one of the other foes. Clearly they weren’t responsible either for bringing them all together. Before Arno could even say another word the five once again glowed purple and vanished yet again. … “So where are we this time?” Mimic asked as the five were teleported into a common area of a large loft. “And are we going to have to fight anyone.” Blink already began forming an energy dagger and looked at Marvel Girl, ready to pounce. Before she could however a purple sphere appeared in the middle of the room. Soon a voice poured out of it. “Centurions, I’m glad you were able to handle your first test,” the voice said. “I’m glad the...five of you were able to succeed.” “That’s great and all, but who are you?” said the Morph as he turned into a wizard. “And why are we here.” “A contest has begun,” the voice explained. “You are my champions and I prey it will be enough for the dangers ahead.” “Great,” Mimic said. “Could you explain why us though, and what type of danger we face? Because right now I think you’re full of shit.” “I am not Calvin. I know you grieve for Mary, but I need you to be focused.” Mimic became silent at the mention of his wife’s name. Whoever this figure was, they knew more than he would have liked to admit. He would listen to what it had to say. “When do we get to go home?” Marvel Girl asked. “I do have a date tonight.” She was nervous around the five in front of her and how...grand the scale of all of this was. She was just a cheerleader for her team for the most part. Trying to stop Thunderball had taken a lot out of her, and if she was going to do more of that to help a bunch of strangers that she did even know. Plus that pink skinned weirdo seemed to have it out for her. It was not a healthy environment. “I’m afraid Ms. Gray...with the multiverse at stake...some of you may not return home.” the voice said. The five looked around and wondered what exactly they had gotten themselves into. … A figure sat in a chair above the starry cosmos and looked at a chess board. He could see the pieces slowly appear. A changing fool, a resistance fighter with PTSD, a futurist with daddy issues, a grieving hero, and a girl. He chuckled a bit. The girl hadn’t been able to summon six like she was supposed to. Earth 913 was a surprising choice for an arena. It hadn’t been the site of multiversal incursions. It would provide an advantage he was looking forward to. As he looked at several monitors he began making selections for his trained team. The Western Devil, Xavier’s Captain, a metal man from the USSR. War was coming, and he knew how to play the game. “To me my Dreadnaughts,” the Grandmaster said with a smile. NEXT: The Centurions settle into their new home, Marvel Girl and Blink clear the air, and the first Dreadnaught arrives!
2020.09.24 05:47 ComradeMaethorI definitely have chemistry with a girl/fellow classmate, but we've only met in online classrooms
I've posted on here before where I talked about how I'm currently a freshman at college. The only catch is that all the classes are online and only a handful of us are actually on campus. I'm one of the lucky few who got in. I'm also a part of a program my college offers, and we've been working with it since the start of summer with zoom meetings. In one meeting, I met a girl who I became friendly with immediately, and we were bound to meet each other again because we are both going to the same study abroad destination in the future. Fast forward to the start of school and present time, we are in the same math and English class, we have the same Russian teacher, we both have the same major, and we are both very well aware that we are both total geeks. At the same time, we got randomly put together for a group project for a first year seminar class, and also got put together in math for an activity. We both joke about how we can't avoid each other! I don't believe in fate, I'm just pointing this out because I find it pretty funny that the one girl I think I have a good shot at is the one person I've had the most interaction with on online classes, through complete chance. In general, we're pretty good friends right now and we talk regularly. The only downside is that she is all the way on the west coast while I'm as east as you can get. There is no possibility of meeting her in person until she gets on campus either next semester or next year. With that being said, I've already decided that I shouldn't try to get into a distance relationship with her. It doesn't seem like a good idea. Yes, if she was on campus with me, I would totally go for her, but I dont want to start anything online. Then again, who knows? That's why I'm posting on here, just to get some input. I haven't hit on her at all, unless you wanna count me saying "you're fun to talk to :)" as hitting, but I dont think it really is. Should I try and establish a relationship or future relationship with this girl or should I keep it as friends until I meet her in person? The only thing I worry about for the latter option is that we get too comfortable with each other and dating would seem awkward.
2020.09.24 05:46 DNation13I'm so lost am I just paranoid?
(This is gonna be a long one) I've been dating this girl for a couple months and we both have really fallen for each other, but there have been instances where shes claimed to be ignorant about but I can't tell if shes lying. The first occurrence was when she had an old friend (m) take her to hang out and I'm usually laid back and let her do her thing because this was her friend old buddy after all. So they have a long day together and had fun which I was fine with. It wasn't till the next day when I was over and she didn't know I was coming over the day before, but I always let her know I'm coming over the day of because usually I dont know till the day of. But I went over and we were having a good time till she gets a message of this guy wanting to visit because he was in the area (he lives 50 mins away) this kinda threw me off because I did not know if it was planned or not and the whole scenario was very suspicious. Then he hugs her tight in front of me. Later on that day I broke up with her and we made up later on And today (she smokes pot) her guy that shes known longer than me came to deliver and I knew he was coming and it didn't bother me at all. I was about to leave and I see his car and he has another guy with him and I thought it was just the usual he drops off and heads off. My gf left was walking me out and says goodbye then goes into their car and they drive away. I was greatly confused and startled and in 5 mins they came back and they drop her off. She tells me goodbye (I forgot to mention she asked me to stay when they were gone for a bit) she told me they took her to the bank to pay. I've been cheated on MANY times and I don't know what to trust anymore. Obviously I could just be a paranoid asshole but i really have no clue as to what to think anymore.
2020.09.24 05:46 katSan11ending a long term relationship
I (23F) have been in a relationship with my (25M) boyfriend for the past five years. We have had our issues over the years, nothing major like cheating, and yet I still don’t feel right. I feel like I do not love him in the way he loves me. I feel like things he has done in the past has made it very difficult to trust and fully love him. A few years ago he lied to me and went to a party and was around all the girls I didn’t like, It wasn’t until I caught him that he went home, and it took a long time for him to leave. I don’t think he did anything that time, but the main issue was that he didn’t want to be shitted on by his friends for leaving, even though he was hurting me being there. I may seem controlling but it was worse on my end; he didn’t let me go to parties, he didn’t let me wear what I wanted, he didn’t let me really see friends. whenever i did anything he would just be standoffish and rude to me until he would admit that he was upset because i wore shorts or a dress or makeup. it was really controlling for a long time but I grew tired of it and put him in his place, he stopped. he still doesn’t like me wearing revealing clothing but I never do, and he considers regular clothes like shorts revealing. Anyways, we differ a lot with our political views. we have always had issues coming to agreements. but I just decided to leave politics out of our relationship because it shouldn’t matter that much right? We argued because our views completely do not align, he grew up with everything and I grew up in a very broken home. I was sort of a prude in high school and when he began dating me, he and his friends were laughing and making bets on how long it’d be for him to score with me. it sits so wrong with me because I really feel as if he has never respected me. With our difference of views, I kind of started to resent him or see him in a different light; I hate that it got to that because I tried so hard to keep it out and just focus on us but I couldn’t look past everything. I am young and I feel as if I am missing out on life and experiences. We want different things, I want to get away from the life we grew up in and he doesn’t plan on it. A few months ago I caught him looking at OF promos which didn’t make me upset, what made me upset was fact that he holds me to such a high standard while not respecting those himself. He is a sweet guy he has gotten better and is less controlling but I feel as if I am lying to him by continuing to be with him, I love him but i am no longer in love with him, i long for a life where I can do what I want and go where I want, but I am never going to have that with him. I dont find him attractive anymore. The last time i tried to break it off with him he wouldn’t let me, I feel wrong because i do want him like he wants me. what do i do?
2020.09.24 05:45 amkamamkamWould I be a bad friend if I cancelled a trip me and my best friend planned? (23F & 23F)
I've been going back and forth over this but ultimately I feel like I will be a horrible person for doing this. So a few months ago, we wanted to go to another country not too far from us (1hr flight) to have fun and just have a relaxing weekend break. We decided that once things sorta settle down, then we would look into a weekend break over there. Come last week and I was all set to book this trip and thinking up ideas, she was also doing the same. This week, she broke up with a guy she was dating for a few weeks. Everytime she breaks up with someone, she becomes extremely anxious, super emotional with lots and lots of tears and its a tough time but I try and be there for her in any way I can. I thought maybe this holiday would be a good distraction for her to get away from everything so I was still somewhat set on going. However, I somewhat forgot that everytime she goes through a breakup, she somewhat acts self destructive and acts out ie wanting to do things that she doesn't usually do, making poor decisions and risking her own safety and mental wellbeing: Mainly jumping from guy to guy to forget the previous one knowing she has attachment issues and will hurt herself in the process, leading to the cycle of crying, anger, distraught, anxiety attacks and so on. I am worried that this will continue into our holiday and if I take her, we would not be able to enjoy our time and she would be caught up with her ex or other guys she is pursuing when I just want to explore the city and have a good time. I feel incredibly selfish for doing so but everytime she acts out, I get so frustrated because she knows how detrimental it is to her and how much it sets her back but she basically puts her fingers in her ears and then I'm left to deal with the aftermath. I feel emotionally exhausted and I want the best for her but it's like she wants to self destruct and act against her own best interests. I feel like I can no longer hold up my end of the stick and provide emotional support any longer. I have told her to seek therapy to deal with her reaction to break ups and to also take a break from dating because it seems to destroy her self esteem and sense of judgement. Part of me wants to get away and not deal with this any longer but I'm afraid she will truly spiral and I wouldn't be able to help her. She hasn't been herself in a long time now and I truly fear that she's gone past the point of return. I don't know how much longer I can hold out. This trip would be a nightmare if I go through with it. Should I cancel this trip anyway or give her a chance? Tl:Dr planned a holiday with best friend. She just went through a break up. Everytime she goes through one, she acts out and is a danger to her own mental wellbeing and is emotionally exhausting to deal with. Should I cancel this trip?
2020.09.24 05:44 throwrainterestedI (17F) broke up with my boyfriend (21M) don’t really have a support system, need advice how to deal with the emotional damage.
So we started dating when i was 16 and he was 20. We dated for a year until i finally was over his toxicity and left him. I’m aware now how wrong it was for 16 year old to be with a 20 year old and i was in denial that it was the problem with our relationship. We were friends for a month before we got together and it’s like he already had a list of things that he was going to tell me to stop doing. I smoked weed so he told me if i wanted to be with him i had to stop smoking weed. He caught me smoking with a friend and got so mad and after that i never did it again. He also told me i had to stop eating fried things and also got pissed when he caught me doing that. This paragraph is just the background (first month) When we started dating i was a pretty confident girl and he asked me if it was okay for him to go to parties. I told him “I’m not your mom, if you want to go to a party that’s your decision to make” Then he told me “No, i want you to change your attitude, i want u to tell me that you don’t want me to go to parties and see other girls” So i did even though it wasn’t true. Another time, we worked together so he asked me to go make him coffee and i was being stubborn so he said “well then i’ll just go see if any of the girls will make it for me” guess what i did? I made him coffee. I suddenly became this insecure jealous girl and began to base my confidence off of what he thought of me. When we first hung out as a couple, he grabbed my ass. Then the second or third he rubbed me where the sun doesn’t shine while we were sitting in a life guard chair. This was the first sexual encounter i had ever had in my life and i was frozen. It was weird and idk if i liked it or not. Eventually he pressured me to have sex with him and i did. Once he wanted me to give him a BJ and he was begging me and he tried to push my head down to do it. The rest of our relationship in a nutshell was me being jealous and paranoid a lot (eventually i stopped) and him being controlling, whenever he got mad he would degrade me. (Called me crazy, stupid, told me to shut the fuck up, a little girl, “imagine having a girlfriend like you, and used stuff about my life to throw at me when he was really mad) so basically he had bad anger issues which is funny because on our first “date” he told me he wasn’t an angry guy. When i asked him about this he said he wasn’t until he started dating me. So i got tired of this and broke up with him and tonight i’ve just rethought the whole thing and i feel violated and stupid. I planned to move away with him after i graduated. I honestly don’t know what to call this situation nor how to deal with what happened because right now i feel like i want to sit in the shower and cry for a week. Help TL:DR- was in toxic relationship with older boyfriend, broke up with him. Don’t know how i could’ve been so naive, Didn’t realize how bad it affected me until now. Seeking advice. If it helps i have pretty neglectful parents and live with my old grandparents who can’t help me. Don’t really know where else i can get advice.
2020.09.24 05:43 BioGirl956I don’t know what to think about this...
So, I’ve been dating my current SO since the middle of July. He asked me around the middle/end of August to be his girlfriend. I was at his apartment this past weekend to hang out and so on, and I noticed his phone still had the dating app that we met on. Idk if he’s been getting messages or anything on it. And no, I wasn’t snooping. I just saw it on the home screen of his phone as he unlocked the phone. Should I worry? Should I ask? Should I say anything at all? I don’t wanna be overbearing or clingy or anything, but yet....
2020.09.24 05:43 hopelesslonelygayFeeling isolated and dejected
I must have opened and closed the Reddit app on my phone 20 times before writing this post. It seems like the rate of responses vary wildly on here with the hour of the day or which community is posted to, so it's entirely possible that no one will even see this and that thought kind of devastated me when thinking about posting about my feelings to Reddit. Experience is making it hard for me to believe that anyone will care about my feelings or what I have to say even if it is seen, but I don't really know what else to do. I'm not in a good place and I don't have another outlet at the moment. I may cross post this so sorry if you see it more than once and are bothered by that. It used to be when waking up, I would feel better than I did when I went to sleep and that would last at least a few hours, but now almost every day, even after getting to talk with one of the very few friends who seem to have time and the inclination to talk to me since the pandemic started to wear everyone down so much the day before, I just wake up feeling suicidal. I feel motivation and passion for anything very rarely and when I do it's gone before I can gather the strength to latch onto it and try to at least have a distraction from how badly I feel unless that motivation is for passive dopamine hits like checking social media, tv, food, or porn. No one reaches out to me. All my friends and family live with someone, either romantic partners or family, and no one has any motivation or desire to reach out to me during this pandemic because they have so little energy and what little they have is taken up by work or school or just how tough life is right now for everyone. I don't begrudge them feeling that way, but none of them are isolated like I am and they seem to be satisfied with their interactions with their partners or family whom they live with. I won't go so far to say that I have no one, I have at very least a couple very good friends whom I get to talk with a couple times a month each, but it's really not enough. My best days pre-pandemic seemed to be when I had at least three social interactions with different people per day. Now I'm getting nothing almost. When I reach out, when I say I'm having a problem, when I say explicitly this is what's going on and this is what I need, I am met with resistance, passitivity, and am kept at arm's length. People have to set healthy boundaries for themselves and look out for themselves before they can help others, but I need more support than what I'm getting. I have tried to check up on most of my closer social circle several times since the pandemic started in March, and I can only think of a few scant instances where those same people initiated contact with me to check on how I was doing, even after weeks or months of no communication. I feel like I have to threaten self harm to get anyone to care just for a second, and then they disappear immediately anyway. There are a handful of men in my life whom I've developed feelings for over the years, half of whom I've told and not been accepted but not been outright rejected either and have then been encouraged, explicitly or implicitly, to flirt or make passes at them or they will flirt and make passes at me, but they never follow through with romance or lust or they will occasionally but then immediately get freaked out and retreat. The other half I'm terrified that if I told them it would destroy our friendship and quite possibly an entire social circle for me, which is especially terrifying because I have made it a policy in life to only keep close those who I feel a genuine connection and friendship with, so my friend list is limited, despite having many acquaintances whom I enjoy and hope to develop a deeper friendship with. Even the ones whom I have not told sometimes flirt with me, have sent sexual pictures, have kissed me with tongue in public, and it's all very confusing. I can't know for sure if they are confused sexually themselves, if they feel pity for me, or even if they can be trusted to tell themselves the truth and not rewrite their history so as to be comfortable in their image of heterosexuality they put forth and therefore if they can be trusted to tell me the truth of what they feel. Sometimes they talk about their feelings or attraction to me and then deny it later. Their gaslighting behavior and our relationships have caused me to feel paranoid about men a lot of the time, which was something I have struggled with ever since puberty, so my male friends I have are rare and very precious to me. Even when I reach out and try to instigate contact with new guys on apps or whatnot, I feel like I get ignored the vast majority of the time. No one seems to want to actually have a deeper conversation, be that about our individual feelings, our society, academic type critique of media or arts, or even how our days were. I still feel a deep connection and affection for the previously mentioned men who are a part of my life whom I have feelings for, but their gay panic always seems to derail things despite the signals they give off and their actions that say that they are attracted to and hold affection for me. I just never seem to be enough for them to follow through. I'm feeling very hopeless right now. I have dreams and aspirations I wish I could focus on or care about, but the lack of human attention and support has made me a lump on the couch with no interests or trust for new relationships, platonic or romantic. This is not new/caused by the pandemic, but it has been immensely amplified by it. I feel as though if I could have more social support, be it romantic or friendship, if I could feel that consistency and support, I would be able to put my energy and concentration into the projects and dreams and aspirations I have that don't involve dating or having a family of my own. But I am just so lonely and depressed and without a good support system, that I am emotionally raw all the time and I cannot concentrate on or conjure up motivation for any kind of endeavor, even basic health and upkeep of myself or my home most of the time. I try to focus on and be grateful for the good things in my life, the fact that I have a home, that I have food, that I am able to acquire what medication I need, that I am fortunate enough to be able to make occasional frivolous purchases just for fun, and not have to choose between an appetizer or dessert when I order in, but what is any of that worth without friends, family, or a romantic partner? I don't really know what I'm hoping to get out of posting this, or how it might contribute to others, but thanks for reading anyway.
2020.09.24 05:42 RenOutOfSauceA girl I've been chatting for a month is acting weird, I need some help
So about a month ago I decided to start using dating app because I was really bored during quarantine. After a few match with a bunch of girls that I don't find interesting, I matched with a girl that sparked my interest, she's cute, funny, and the most important thing is she is not boring like the other match that I had. We've only been chatting for a month, and we can't go on a real date yet because of quarantine. At first I thought that it's only gonna last for a few days, or maybe a week, but no we've been chatting for a month and it's been great (of course we weren't just texting, we also facetiming, and watching netflix through zoom together a lot). I thought it was going great because I feel like nothing has gone wrong, and everything feels right when I talk to her. But for the past 3 days she has been acting kinda weird. She doesn't talk as much during facetime anymore, and I sometime feels like she's not as interested to talk to me as she used to before, but at the same time she's still sending me text telling me about what's going on in her life. For a few days I've been thinking what makes her behave this way, is it something that I do, or is she just not interested in me anymore, but if she is why would she still texting me about her day and stuff like that. Please I need help, I really like her, and I don't want to mess this up, what should I do in this situation?
Loretta Young. I squint at her sitting on a wrought-iron bench in the burning light of another summer day, and then cast a shadow over the dot-matrix portrait in the file spread out on my picnic table to get a better look. Sharp high cheekbones, hair pulled into a French braid so blond there’s no mistaking it even in grayscale. I can even pick up the distant look in her eyes and the low-cut collar of her sweater. There’s no doubt, there she is. Loretta Young: Age thirty-two, Social Security number XXX-XX-XXXX, 9012 Quince Lane. The time stamped next to her name gives me a good fifteen minutes, so I pour through her file. My thumb runs along the familiar rough edge of the pages as I search through her shopping habits to find what I’m looking for. Her years melt away with her purchasing power, and finally my eyes catch those familiar italics in between an Ikea couch and a box of Trojan Condoms. “Lies about crying at movies out of fear of seeming cold to her friends.” My stiff new clothes—courtesy of Adam Finch, James Goldburg, and Patrick Fisher—are hot and scratchy in the June heat and I can feel the first bead of sweat tickling as it slivers down my spine. Having no other reason to wait, I begin my work. Loretta is peeling an orange as I walk quietly towards her. She’s not supposed to see me. I was hired to be a phantom, a poltergeist. But I stopped caring years ago, so I take a seat next to her and smile. “Hi there.” I say. She glances nervously up at me and then down at the impossibly thick manila file in my lap before returning her eyes to her orange and replying. “Hello.” I know she can feel my eyes on her, and I can see her muscles tense as she considers walking away. “Nice day, eh?” I ask. Her brows drop a quarter inch and her mouth pulls into a thin white line. I can see the muscles in her legs stiffen and then relax as she decides to tough it out. “Yes, I suppose.” She rushes a segment of orange into her mouth and chews it slowly to keep her lips and tongue occupied. Her eyes are locked on her file, as if some part of her knows what it contains. “Working lunch?” She asks. “Yes, you could say that. Who are you? Tell me who you are in a sentence.” Loretta’s hand freezes halfway between the orange and her mouth, and she tears her eyes from the file to look into mine. I see my desperation reflected in her jet-black pupils. “Excuse me?” “Just humor me, please?” She bites her lip and stares at the orange. Hours seem to blow across the grass around us. “I… really need to get back to work. Um, have a nice lunch.” She stuffs the last of the orange into her mouth and clutches her purse to her chest as she stands. The orange peel dangles in her hand and she glances around, looking for the rubbish bin. “Please, allow me Loretta.” I pluck the peel from her suddenly stiff hands. Her eyes go wide and she swallows, nearly choking. “How do you know my name?” But I’m already gone. ___ I stop at the Texaco station on 89th and pull Benjamin Lark out of my wallet to provide my fuel. My life before The Fat Lady seems so detached and indistinct it’s not even a memory. When I try to conjure up my childhood all I can see are Happy Meals and Power Ranger Megazords. File after file, I searched for the italicized sentence, hungry, desperate for some sort of pattern or meaning. Eventually, every swipe of my debit card felt like a handful of dirt thrown on my grave. It wasn’t long before I decided that the identities that passed through my hand every day wouldn’t be missed. Kyle Porter was the first. “Beat his neighbor’s dog to death as a child.” The italics absolved me as I took his name and began opening accounts. Now I have an entire closet at home full of nothing but credit cards and uncashed paychecks. Benjamin walks up to the counter and asks for a pack of Lucky Strike Filters. “They don’t make those anymore bud.” The clerk says. He takes a pack of Camels instead, punches his code into the pin-pad, and walks out the door. ___ I pull my car out onto the street and turn onto the highway, quietly reciting my litany from the top. “Loretta Young, lies about crying at movies out of fear of seeming cold to her friends. Steven Mercer, gives his family and friends hand-drawn cards every Christmas. Catherine Pook, blushes every time she talks to her cats. Joseph Gates, stole a pair of lacquered Chinese worry-balls from his teacher’s desk in the 8th grade, and gave them as a present to his mother out of guilt… Jack is, as always, sitting at his desk on the spartan ground floor when I enter the building. The sickly-sweet smoke billowing out of his cherry-stained pipe forms a dusky cloud around his head that the dim fluorescent lighting of the windowless office cannot penetrate. I’ve never once gotten a clear look at his face. I walk across the field of tight burber to his desk and slap the file down in front of him, gently laying the orange peel on top of it. “Here it is.” Before I can turn around I feel Jack’s cold and wrinkled hand press down on top of mine like a vise. “Nope. She wants you to take it up to her yourself.” I halt, confused by the sudden change in a routine so established it was a ritual. “She?” “The Fat Lady.” “The Fat Lady?” Jack’s leathery face pushes the cloud-front forward and I cringe involuntarily as he yells “YES The Fat Lady! Is there a god-damn echo in here?” Everyone that worked for her had theories and stories; it was all we talked about in the minutes we spent together every morning waiting for Jack to come down the elevator with our files. But no one had ever actually seen her. That is besides, we all could only assume, Jack. My heart races as I gather my wits to some degree and point mutely at the elevator. From within his vanilla cloud, Jack simply nods. I take back the file and the peel and walk slowly to the back of the room. The rough beige doors slide closed with a loud clank, and I clutch the file to my chest, wondering which of the four floors The Fat Lady is on and more importantly, where all the buttons are. I can feel no movement, and there is absolutely nothing around me besides dingy painted steel. What seems like hours pass by before the doors slide loudly open again to reveal an impossibly large room filled with filing cabinets. I step out, immediately noticing the uncomfortably low ceiling. I return to the litany to calm my nerves. “Greg Jackson…” I halt, unable to remember the important bit. Was it something about his first car? Getting a royal flush at a Pai-Gow table? I take a deep breath and look around. Sickly yellow fluorescents in the stuccoed ceiling light the room, and it is so large and so dim that I cannot see the other three walls. Thousands, millions, of beige five-drawer filing cabinets form row after row, like titan’s ribs thrusting up from the floor. Directly ahead of me is a ladder leading up into a hole in the ceiling that pours forth a bright, clean light. ‘Five, Four, Three, Two, One.’ My breath and heart slow and I do my best to assess my situation. Almost immediately I recognize the opportunity before me and set the file and the peel down on the floor. I walk to the nearest cabinet and pull open the third drawer up. Michael Stravin, Louis Hearth, Allen Riker. I close my eyes and accept defeat. The files seem to be random, and there’s no way I could find mine before Jack comes looking for me. I laugh to myself, suddenly realizing there was probably no way I could find myself if I spent the rest of my life in this room. I sigh and gather Loretta’s file and peel, walking calmly to the ladder. Placing the peel in my pocket and straining my jaw to hold the file between my teeth, I begin to climb. My muscles are on fire by the time the light above draws near and I climb blinking and half-blind into The Fat Lady’s office. I see her hand thrust in front of me from my right, its thick fingers curled along the edges of the pale white pillow of her palm. Understanding, I fish the peel out of my pocket and gently lay it down into her grasp. My eyes adjust to the light as she walks to the other end of the room. Her body defies the word enormous, looking alien in its proportions. She wears a flowing white dress, embroidered subtly and gracefully, which somehow flatters her ample form. Her wrist is forever lost beneath the joining of hand and forearm, looking almost like independent parts held together and animated by magnetism. She glides across the floor with stunning grace, the subtle movement of the fat under her taught and unblemished skin belying impossible strength. Before I can even open my mouth, she turns and shushes me, the air rushing out of her tiny doll’s lips like a hull breach and her steel-grey eyes broaching no argument. She comes to a halt in front of a table supporting a strange device settled into a nest of wires. The Fat Lady lifts the smoked-plastic lid of the device and places Loretta’s orange peel onto a shiny metal disk in the center of the contraption. Closing the lid, she produces a pocket-watch from somewhere on her person and stares fixedly at it’s ticking hands. I can’t help but hold my breath until finally, her finger strikes a button to the left of the device, and she leans her head back and closes her eyes in apparent ecstasy. A tone begins to swell out from unseen speakers, joined by another, and another. The chord layers to an impossible complexity. Tears are welling in my eyes as the crescendoing wave of sound shakes my bones and overpowers the beat of my heart. I think I can hear a soft voice, layered upon itself ad infinitum, a lifetime compressed into a single note. The Fat Lady’s breast trembles and swells impossibly as she drinks the sound in. And then suddenly it stops, leaving only the echo of a scream ringing in my ears. The Fat Lady smiles and softly exhales, opening her eyes. Sated, she walks to the other side of the room and delicately pulls a small platinum disk from a complicated turntable, slips it into a dust jacket, labels it, and places it on one of the shelves lining the walls of her office. “I talked to her, to Loretta.” I blurt out without thinking. The Fat Lady glides to the mahogany desk and sits down in her massive, plush chair before locking me in her eyes. “I know, it’s been accounted for.” “And others, for years.” I add, unable to stop. “Yes, them too.” She smiles. “How long have you worked here?” “I… I don’t know.” I stammer. “You have a question, don’t you? Something you want to know?” Her doll’s mouth tightens to a point. “What happened to her, to Loretta?” The Fat lady laughs. “You already know that.” I do, I admit to myself. “Be a dear and put that back for me, would you?” She gestures at Loretta’s file and pulls a large ledger from one of her desk’s drawers. “In the cabinet to the left of the ladder. They’re sorted by date.” Her eyes narrow and a smirk dances across the corner of her lip, then she lifts a pen from the desk and begins scribbling in the ledger, calling the audience to a close. Slowly, I turn myself away from her and descend the ladder. I open one of the cabinet’s drawers at random and begin thumbing through the files comparing dates. I find Loretta’s place, and then there it is, printed on a folder thinner than most in a neat courier font. My name. Loretta’s folder falls to the floor, and I rip my file from its place. I don’t even have to sort through the pages, the italics are right there at the top of the list. Vanilla smoke stings my wide eyes and a hard, wrinkled hand plucks the file from my numb fingers. I turn around, but he’s already gone. I close my eyes, and find the words burned into the blackness. ‘Desperately wishes he was something more than he really is.’ ___ I rush blindly down the street to the pawnshop and Kellen Walker buys a nine-millimeter Lugar. I get into the car and speed home, hoping I’m not late for my appointment with The Fat Lady.
2020.09.24 05:40 Pathogen188Spartans III and the Misconceptions Around Them
Out of all the classes of Spartan, the Spartan III Program is probably the least understood. In part it’s because out of the main three classes they’ve received the least amount of time in the spotlight, but arguably more importantly there is a disconnect between what has been stated about the Spartan III Program and the reality that is the canon.
Misconception 1: The Spartan IIIs were in training for a fraction of the time as the IIs
This isn’t totally a misconception because it’s not totally wrong, but there’s a bit more nuance than what one might initially think. The idea first comes up, like many things, on page 63 of Ghosts of Onyx
There was however, only a fraction of the original SPARTAN program training time and budget...You need to make these Spartans better and train them faster
That seems pretty cut and dry? And it almost is. This is entirely dependent on which company of Spartan IIIs we’re discussing. Alpha Company began training at the very end of 2532 and graduated at the end of November 2536 for a total training period of 4 years and 11 months at bare minimum. And while 5 years is certainly shorter, I’d hardly consider it a “fraction” of the time the IIs had. But Gamma Company is a different story entirely. Unlike Alpha Company, when Gamma started training is unknown. We know that the Company was authorized in July of 2544, but when it was formed is unknown. Based on the time between when Kurt was recruited and when Alpha began training note 1, we get a rough start date of February 2545 at the latest for Gamma. Of course that is assuming that the company didn’t start training in July of 2544. And we know that training ended for the bulk of the class in late October 2552, giving us a minimum training duration of 7 years and around 8-9 months, just a bit under the original Spartan II program. But that’s where the issue is. While the exact day the Spartan II program finished training is a bit unclear (at the earliest you could argue that it’s March-April 2525 and the latest it’s early September of the same year), no matter how you look at it, Gamma and the IIs were in training for almost the exact same amount of time, with the difference between the two classes coming down to months, potentially even weeks. Which would contradict the previously established idea that the Spartan III Program was supposed to produce Spartans faster than the Spartan II Program. The training duration of Beta Company is honestly a bit hard to put together because there’s conflicting dates for when the company started training and we don’t know when they finished training, so the duration could be anywhere from 5-7 years and there’s arguments to be made for both sides and for as long as this post is, I don’t particularly feel like making sense of it at this moment. However, while the training for Alpha Company was accelerated, it was still a fairly long time all things considered. So while the IIIs were originally intended to be produced in a fraction of the amount of time as the IIs that clearly isn’t the case in reality. Gamma spent essentially the same amount of time in training as the IIs and Alpha spent 5 years in training. And while that’s a decent bit shorter than the IIs, I don’t think that really meets the goal of quickly producing Spartans. It still took half a decade to produce 300 Spartans, I wouldn’t consider that quick. TL;DR: The training duration of the Spartan III programs is dependent on the Company of IIIs. Gamma was in training for about as long as the IIs while Alpha was in training for a bit more than half the duration of their predecessors.
Misconception 2: The Spartan IIIs had inferior training compared to that of the IIs.
I can only assume this is a case of people misremembering Ghosts of Onyx and other material, because this is explicitly not the case. Page 67 of Ghosts of Onyx
In the last six months [Kurt] had developed a training regime tougher than the original SPARTAN program. He had created obstacle courses, firing ranges, classrooms, mess halls, and dormitories from what had been jungle and scrub plain.
The Spartan IIIs were trained by one of the best IIs, CPO Mendez and had a harsher training regime than the IIs, the idea that the quality of their training was somehow worse is somewhat baffling. Especially because they wouldn’t have Mjolnir to support them. Much like the augmentations (which’ll come later), it makes sense that the Spartan IIIs would have higher quality training than their predecessors because they wouldn’t be equipped with Mjolnir and superior training would be one way to help mitigate the difference in ability between an SPI equipped III and a Mjolnir clad II. The only area where there’s potential to be made for inferiority is general education. We know for a fact that the Spartan IIs received some pretty good general education, but the Spartan Field Manual claims that the training of the Spartan IIIs was streamlined and general education was dropped in favor of a greater emphasis on combat. Despite what the Field Manual claims, I’m skeptical to take that as fact. Ghosts of Onyx on several occasions makes note of non-combat oriented knowledge held by the IIIs. Page 91
Deep Winter turned his glacier-blue gaze to the Lieutenant. “You’ve seen my reports. You know they are. Since you announced their grades were a factor in the selection process, they practically kill themselves every night to learn everything before they pass out.
So we know that grades were incredibly important to the selection process. Spartans with poor grades washed out. While we don’t know exactly what they were being tested on, I’d be surprised if general education wasn’t included in the rigorous testing they went through. Page 133
“Fhejelet non sequitor, now?” “I got part of that,” Ash said. “Non-sequitor, that’s Latin, right?”
Ash is able to recognize that an Onyx Sentinel speaks Latin, which obviously isn’t particularly useful in combat most of the time. Halo Reach’s Promotional Intel featured profiles for every member of NOBLE team. Kat’s profile states that she is a brilliant cryptanalyst. And while it is true that Kat is a Cat-II and superior to an ordinary III, the education requirements to become a cryptanalyst today, much less be a brilliant one 500 years from now, require a hefty amount of non combat related education. And while Kat undoubtedly did a lot of her training on her own, I find it unlikely that Kat self taught years of basic math before graduating to higher level math. Realistically, I believe that it makes more sense for Kat and the other IIIs to have received a general education in training and then Kat expanded upon what she already knew in order to reach the level she did. TL;DR: The Spartan IIIs undoubtedly had higher quality training than the IIs. Not only were they trained by a II and CPO Mendez, Kurt designed their training regime to be more advanced and harder than that of the IIs.
Misconception 3: The Spartan IIIs have worse augmentations than the IIs.
Again, there’s a bit of gray area with this one. While it’s widely accepted that Project Chrysanthemum is superior in that the genetic requirements for the augmentations are less and the augmentations themselves are significantly safer, the actual physical abilities of the IIIs are often regarded as inferior to those of the IIs, trading efficacy for safety. However very little suggests that the Spartan IIIs are physically inferior to the IIs. First and foremost, a major piece of evidence in favor of that interpretation is that because Project Aster was more invasive, it must have produced better results. But that’s not really the case. Page 57 of the Fall of Reach tells us the Spartan IIs received the following augmentations:
Occipital Capillary Reversal: Improves eyesight
Carbide Ceramic Ossification: the augmentation that makes their bones nigh unbreakable
Catalytic Thyroid Implant: Human Growth Hormones to increase size and muscle mass
"carbide ceramic ossification catalyst" drug: bones become nigh unbreakable
"fibroid muscular protein complex" drug: Muscle enhancement
"improved colloidal neural disunification solution" drug: Improve reaction times
Human Growth Hormones and cartilage, bone and muscle supplements: Increase size and muscle mass
The Spartan IIIs also received several of other augmentations
These additional augmentations have hardly been touched and I’m not entirely sure how some of them would be beneficial at all, such as anticoagulants i.e. blood thinners. To that end it is possible that these secondary augmentations might be temporary, only being used to aid in the actual augmentation process. But that’s not important. What is important is the primary augmentations. And they’re almost exactly the same. Both received carbide ceramic ossification to make their bones nigh unbreakable, both received HGH to increase size and muscle mass and some sort of inversion to improve eyesight as well as an augmentation to decrease reaction times. The only direct comparison made between the two projects is made by Kurt on page 63 of Ghosts of Onyx
The new bioaugmentations were a quantum leap ahead of those he had received. There were lower projected wash-out rates.
While it’s been argued that Kurt is referring to the lower washout rates, I do not believe this is the case. For one, he specifically states that it is the bioaugmentations themselves he is talking about, while the washout rates appear to have more to do with the actual delivery of the augmentations rather than the actual quality of the augmentations themselves. And while he certainly makes note of the lower washout rates, it’s a separate sentence, a separate complete idea. While the two are related, the writing makes a distinction between the two statements. Furthermore, given the IIIs would primarily be operating without Mjolnir, it would make sense that they would have superior augmentations, as the superior augmentations would be compensating for the inferior physical enhancement that SPI offered. As to actual performance, the IIs and IIIs are virtually identical. Mjolnir clad IIIs routinely demonstrate physical parity to their predecessors, and even SPI clad IIIs have on occasion been shown to replicate the feats of the IIs, even if they aren’t capable of the same peaks because they lack Mjolnir. Furthermore, cheaper does not necessarily mean worse. The fact that the IIIs were supposedly cheaper is a common argument against the quality of the augmentations and of SPI, but there’s very little connecting the cost to that. After a decade of R&D, the augmentations would be cheaper even though they maintained the quality, that’s a goal of R&D, lowering cost without sacrificing quality. SPI, while cheap compared to Mjolnir, is not poor armor. It’s stealth capabilities are second to none in the UNSC’s arsenal and it provides more protection than ODST BDUs. TL;DR: Very little if any evidence suggests that the IIIs have inferior augmentations, and most, if not all evidence points to the IIIs being just as physically capable, if not more capable than the IIs.
Misconception 4: The Spartan III Program was significantly cheaper than the Spartan II Program
Again, kind of true, but also kind of not true, there’s more nuance to it. From what we can tell, the biggest cost sink of the Spartan II Program is unsurprisingly their armor. At the time Mjolnir cost as much as a destroyer. So because the IIIs didn’t all receive Mjolnir, the project was ultimately cheaper. But that doesn’t mean the Spartans themselves were cheaper. Realistically, there’s no way that the Spartan III Program could have been cheaper per class of Spartans, much less the entire program being cheaper. With hundreds of candidates in every class, the cost of living for each class would’ve been higher just solely based on the number of people, it’s more expensive to house 500 Candidates than it is 75. But then you need to take into account the larger staff, cost of moving materials to Onyx. The Spartan II program benefited from being stationed on Reach, where supplies and goods would be going to every day. Reach was centrally located and a major economic hub of the UEG. Onyx didn’t receive nearly that level of traffic, meaning that in order to get shipments of supplies ships would have to go more out of their way to get to Onyx which would increase costs. The Spartan II Program could get some if not a bulk of their supplies from on Reach itself, totally taking space travel out of the equation, but Onyx was mostly undeveloped, so that level of vertical integration just wouldn’t be possible. So really, whether or not the Spartan III Program was cheaper is more dependent on whether or not you include the cost of Mjolnir in the Spartan II Program. If you do, then the IIIs were cheaper due to how insanely expensive Mjolnir was. But if you don’t include Mjolnir, logistically I’m not sure how the Spartan III program could ever be cheaper. TL;DR: The only reason why the IIIs were cheaper than the IIs is because they weren’t equipped with Mjolnir. The actual training of the IIIs would have been more expensive than that of the IIs.
Misconception 5: Alpha and Beta Companies only went on one mission.
While the IIIs were to an extent intended to be suicide soldiers we do know that Alpha and Beta Company took part in several operations before their destruction. Alpha was active for 9 months before its destruction, although it’s unknown how long Beta was active before Torpedo. Halo Ghosts of Onyx page 81
"We were reviewing the record of your SPARTAN-IIIs since they went operational nine months ago," she said. "Impressive." The Rear Admiral gestured at floating holographic panes that contained after-action reports, still shots of battlefields full of Covenant corpses, and ship damage-assessment profiles. "The insurrection of Mamore," he said "that nasty business at New Constantinople, actions in the Bonanze asteroid belt and the Far Gone colony platforms, and half a dozen other engagements- this reads like the campaign record of a cracking good battalion not company of three hundred. Damned impressive."
While there's no explicit confirmation as to how much of the Company took part in each mission, given the last line, I’d say it’s likely that the entire or most of the Company took part in each operation. Beta’s history prior to Torpedo is less well documented, but we still know a little of what they did before Torpedo. Operation Cartwheel took place before Torpedo, where Kat-B320 distinguished herself enough to become a Cat-II and Lucy and B170 took part in an unnamed mission shortly before Torpedo took place. Unlike Alpha Company it's unclear whether or not Cartwheel was the entire Company, at the very least we know that Torpedo was not the first mission members of Beta were sent on. TL;DR: Both Alpha and Beta took part in several missions before they were destroyed. Alpha was active for 9 months.
In Contention: Spartan IIIs are smaller than the IIs
This isn't necessarily a misconception, but it’s a subject that’s up to debate. Mainly because there’s conflicting information. Some sources suggest that the IIIs are the same height as the IIs while other sources suggest they’re smaller. One of the most commonly cited pieces of evidence against the IIIs being the same height as the IIs and even the IVs is that they didn’t receive any augmentation to increase their height, instead all they received was supplements to induce puberty so they’d reach their adult height more quickly. Page 98 of Ghosts of Onyx
His candidates had had to endure so much in the last year. To accelerate the program’s timetable, puberty had been artificially induced. Human-growth hormone as well as cartilage, muscle and bone supplements had been introduced into their diet, and the children had metamorphosed into near-adult stature within nine months.
Page 100 of Ghosts of Onyx
On average only twelve years old, they looked closer to fifteen with the sculpted musculature of Olympic athletes
The biggest issue here is that the biology at play is a bit off. First off, artificially inducing puberty is slightly unnecessary. Puberty usually begins between ages 8-13 in girls and 9-14 for boys. So while there would’ve been late bloomers who could have benefitted from a puberty jump start, a large portion of the IIIs also would’ve been well into puberty at that point. Yes, they wouldn’t have had their growth spurts yet, but puberty wasn’t accelerated, it was supposedly artificially induced. Second, human growth hormone doesn’t start puberty. It’s released during puberty, but the hormones that induces puberty are Gonadotropins (more specifically LH and FSH), which signal the gonads to release sex hormones (testoserone or estrogen) which then in turn start puberty. Not to mention, the Spartan IIs were also given HGH to reach their massive height. I don’t see why there would be such a significant difference between the results of the same augmentation. Especially considering that what the IIIs received is presumably superior to what the IIs received. Furthermore, the cartilage and bone supplements would also presumably increase their height, because as far as I know, those wouldn’t affect their natural development. Although I assume someone who knows more about anatomy would be able to correct me. Page 265 of Last Light states that Tom is a Spartan of average size. Legacy of Onyx then goes on to tell us that Tom’s height out of armor is well above 2m. Tom’s a physically average male Beta III so based on that IIs and IIIs fall into the same height range as John’s unarmored height is 6’10” and while “well above 2m” is a bit vague, I don’t see how Tom could be well above 2m but also still be significantly shorter than John. However, A Necessary Truth seemingly contradicts this. Page 253 of Fractures
At only fourteen, they continued to show hints of adolescence in their soft-featured faces, but their size and musculature were those of twenty-year-old junior lieutenants fresh out of ODST school-which happened to be their cover legend
So according to Fractures the IIIs at age 14 are the size of normal adults, which would seemingly contradict the idea that the IIIs are a similar size to the IIs. But given that Tom is several years older than Mark and Ash, it stands to reason that this difference is merely the result of Tom being close to a decade older than they are. After all, we’re comparing 14 year old Spartans to 40 year olds, as we have never been given the heights of the IIs at age 14. Furthermore we know based on their ages they still have several more years of growth ahead of them so it’s likely that the Gammas were still growing. However theoretically this should only apply to the males, as women generally reach their adult height by age 15. So at 14 Olivia should almost be done growing. But we know from Kat that even female IIIs should be much taller than the average woman, as the conservative estimate for Kat’s height put’s her at 6’5”. Lucy is noted to be an extraordinarily short Spartan and she has the height of an average woman at 5’3”. So clearly the IIIs are much taller than an average person, which lends further credence to the idea that their heights in A Necessary Truth aren’t final. At bare minimum, I think we can confidently rule out the idea that the IIIs are only the height of an average person based on what we know of Tom and Lucy’s heights as well as what we’re told of the augmentations. Whether or not they’re taller than the IIs is a different story. A commonly cited piece of evidence against according to the visual guide the members of NOBLE team are shorter. However I think there’s a bit more to it than that. For one, the visual guide is not the source for either of their heights. Both John’s height and the heights of NOBLE come from promotional material for Halo Reach. John’s height comes from Data Drop 5 while NOBLE’s heights come from the February 2010 issue of Game Informer Magazine. Data Drop 5 lists both John’s actual height and height in-armor, however the Game Informer article does not specify which it is. This is important because if NOBLE’s heights are their actual heights rather than their heights in-armor then they wouldn’t be shorter, they’d be right in line with the IIs. Carter, Emile and John would all be 6’10”, Jun would be the tallest at 6'11" and Fred and Noble 6 would both be 6’9” and Kat would be taller than both Linda and Kelly by 1-2 inches at 6'9". But there’s nothing that really suggests which it is. While 343’s policy has generally been to list their heights in-armor, based on the essential visual guide and Locke’s Classified Intel (Waypoint switches back and forth), the Game Informer article precedes that and Bungie doesn’t appear to have had a policy, primarily because there doesn’t appear to be that many set heights before 343 took over. The heights are included in the "vital information" section, which could either mean "important information" or "biological information". If it's the latter then those are most definitely their actual heights as armor wouldn't be included under biological information. Personally, I think that the heights given in the Game Informer article are their out of armor heights. Again, Tom is “well over 2m” and he is described as a physically average Spartan III, so it doesn’t make much sense for all of NOBLE to be below average in height. If their heights are their natural heights then they’d fall in line with what we know of Tom. And again, both the IIs and IIIs received HGH to increase their size and I don’t see any particular reason why Chrysanthemum would produce shorter Spartans. That being said, it’s still not definite proof of NOBLE’s heights. But to be honest, I'm not sure if that actually matters. Tom's height and description is pretty strong evidence against the idea that the IIIs are on average shorter given that Tom is an average III and he's just as tall as the male IIs. Even if Noble's heights are their heights in armor, that wouldn't contradict anything, they would just be below average IIIs in regards to height. TL;DR: Spartan IIIs are definitely taller than the average person and based on descriptions of Tom and what we know of his height as well as the augmentation procedures of each group, I find it unlikely that the IIIs do not fall into the same height range as the IIs. In conclusion, there’s a lot of misconceptions about the Spartan IIIs, mainly due to more minor details that contradict what the goals of the project were as well as fans just not remembering everything in Ghosts of Onyx. Note 1: Alpha began training 6 months after Kurt was recruited. As seen in the quote Kurt did more than just design the training regime in 6 months, the entirety of Camp Curahee was built in those 6 months. But Camp Curahee only had to be built once and Kurt only ever had to design one training program from the ground up once. While we know Kurt made changes to the training from Alpha to Beta, those changes wouldn’t have taken nearly as long to make unless Kurt was totally redesigning their training regime, which isn’t suggested. Meaning that the time between Kurt being recruited and Alpha beginning training should be a high estimate for how long the period of time between formation of Beta and Gamma and when the companies began training, because the most time consuming part of preparation for Alpha (the construction of Camp Curahee was done, meaning that they could begin training earlier than the Alpha did.) This is entirely speculation on my part, but I feel it is pretty reasonable.
On March 13, 2018, a twitter user who went by the name strayedaway, or Ty, posted a thread about a creepy voicemail he received regarding the missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. The thread went viral and many more people came out claiming to have received the same one.. This prompted people all over the internet to get involved and help solve the mystery. However, there was never a real conclusion, and after receiving an overwhelming amount of publicity and even death threats, Ty and many others linked to the thread deactivated their accounts. Many people claim the whole thing was an elaborate hoax or even an alternate reality game, but I am not satisfied with those answers. Ty’s thread and the bizarre disappearance of MH370 still linger in the back of my mind to this day. https://www.news.com.au/technology/online/creepy-military-voicemail-warning-of-impending-doomsday-sends-internet-into-meltdown/news-story/afe34f8dce8d48a0269cd925838743e8 For those who are unaware, MH370 was an international flight that disappeared on March 8, 2014 while flying from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. The voicemail Ty received 4 years later was an SOS message thought to be recorded on the missing plane’s black box. Some said solar flares happening around that time may have allowed the message to be picked up by cellphones. Solar flares cause electromagnetic pulses in the atmosphere, so with increased electromagnetic activity, signals would have been amplified and had a farther range. https://www.sciencealert.com/no-massive-solar-storm-headed-to-earth-march-2018-noaa-g1 The voicemail was a recording of a robotic voice speaking in military code. After twitter investigators deciphered it, they discovered a chilling warning about aliens followed by a string of numbers that turned out to be coordinates close to the place MH370 vanished from radar. Besides the voicemail, there are many more oddities surrounding this event and there seems to be a synchronistic pattern hiding in plane sight. Flight 370, a Boeing 777, left on the 7th day of the 3rd month and Malaysia Airlines is said to fly nearly 37,000 passengers daily. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-26492748#:~:text=Malaysia%27s%20national%20carrier%20is%20one,Jennifer%20Pak%20in%20Kuala%20Lumpur. The television show Lost seemed to predict the event as well, 10 years before it happened. In the show, a Boeing 777 deviates from its path, turns around, and disappears somewhere off the coast of Australia. This is exactly what MH370 did. The show also seemed to predict who would be on the plane. In Lost, some of the passengers included an actor and two men who used fake passports. On MH370, there was an actor and two men who used fake passports as well. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/10688861/Mystery-fake-passport-holders-on-flight-MH370-were-Iranian.html https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/uncategorized/2014/03/13/marco-polo-stuntman-and-jet-lis-body-double-ju-kun-was-also-on-flight-mh370/ The actor was Ju Kun, Jet Li's body double, and fake identities were used by two Iranian men seeking asylum in Europe. Oddly enough, in Lost, a psychic predicts the plane crash. MH370‘s disappearance also seemed to be predicted by the Nigerian prophet T. B. Joshua. In 2013, T. B. Joshua warned that an aircraft carrying over 200 passengers from an Asian nation would have some serious problems. MH370 had 227 passengers on board. The video of his proclamation went viral on YouTube after the flight’s disappearance. https://emmanuel.tv/content/missing-malaysia-airlines-mh370-prophecy-tb-joshua/ Another strange synchronicity is Lost was first aired on September 22, 2004. September 22 would turn out to be big day for CERN, exactly 7 years later. If you‘re unaware, CERN is a facility that smashes atoms together to create mini black holes and look for other dimensions. On September 22, 2011, CERN succeeded in sending particles faster than the speed of light. Physicists hypothesize that going faster than light speed could actually result in time travel. However, the claim was supposedly debunked sometime later. But this is still up for debate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faster-than-light_neutrino_anomaly But what I find most strange, is the fact that the man who made this discovery was forced to resign. Conspiracy theorists claim CERN did in fact achieve time travel and caused the past to change, a phenomenon known as the Mandela Effect. They say this historical event constantly switches back and forth between having happened on the 22nd or 23rd. Supposedly, every year around this time, new inconsistencies in history pop up. https://www.alternatememories.com/historical-events/general/september-22-23-date-anomalies Ironically, the plot of Lost is centered around a time travel experiment called the Dharma Initiative. In The Lost Experience, it’s revealed that the goal of the experiment was for people to alter the timeline and push back doomsday. Oddly enough, its logo looks just like CERN. CERN compared to the Dharma Initiative's logo Coincidentally, The Lost Experience was an alternate reality game. Remember that the voicemail received by Ty was thought to be part of an ARG as well. Similarly, the investigation sparked by Ty’s thread uncovered the date of a supposed doomsday event, April 18, 2018. Many speculated that on this day there would be an alien invasion. Obviously this didn’t happen, but perhaps uncovering the plan pushed back doomsday, like in the Lost game. With UFOs now in the news, the idea of an alien invasion or apocalyptic event seems even more relevant. If you’ve read my other threads, you know I think the apocalypse has something do with something known as the Black Sun. Oddly enough, MH370 also has connections to this concept. The Black Sun is a symbol that some say represents a portal to somewhere beyond space and time. This strange mural dedicated to the disappearance of MH370 depicts the plane flying straight into something resembling a black hole. The portal seems to be luring the passengers inside by telling them to come in. \"Come in!!\" Another mural seems to depict this as well. In this picture, we see a plane flying right into what appears to be a tear in the fabric of reality. Yet another mural shows the missing flight returning through one. Were the passengers of MH370 taken to another dimension? Some questionable murals This all seems reminiscent of Donnie Darko, a movie about doomsday, time travel, and a plane falling through a black hole in the sky. Just like in Lost, the main character, who is guided by a demonic humanoid rabbit, is tasked with closing a time loop and stopping the apocalypse. The Black Sun is also symbolic of Saturn, which was known to the ancients as the god of time. Saturn is also famous for having a hexagon on its North Pole. In the painting below, we see MH370 trapped behind a net of hexagons. Were the passengers victims of a Saturnian ritual? A literal hex on MH370? Even stranger, in Man of Steel, a trident shaped UFO that resembles the Malaysian Airlines logo crashes off the coast of Australia, just like MH370 did. The movie shows the coordinates of the UFO being 37° S 76° E. Here we see more numerology at work. But it gets weirder. If you type in the opposite coordinates, 37° N 76° W, you get the location of King Neptune‘s Park on Virginia Beach. At the park there is a statue of King Neptune holding a trident. The streets leading up to the park, which are adjacent to 33rd Street, form a trident as well. Just a coincidence? Okay, these 'coincidences' are getting a little out of hand. Ironically, Virginia Beach is an hour drive from Middlesex, the town where Donnie Darko takes place. In Mission Impossible III, another movie centered around chasing a white rabbit, there’s a scene where the Malaysian Airlines logo can be seen from behind, revealing a hidden 666. Do you see?! The same exact scene was also used in the movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The movie is about sun harvesting robots who reside on one of Saturn’s moons. I find it odd they reused the same footage for two films released roughly 3 years apart. Hmmm... The area MH370 went missing was also near one of the 12 Vile Vortices. The Vile Vortices are anomalous regions where the planet’s electromagnetic field is thought to be stronger than usual. The regions are known for UFO activity and strange disappearances of boats and planes. The Devil’s Triangle, better known as The Bermuda Triangle, is one of the most famous Vile Vortices. Oddly enough, on the exact opposite side of the globe, is the region MH370 disappeared. Are these two places somehow connected? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_T._Sanderson The Bermuda Triangle (right) and the area MH370 went missing (left) All these connections could be nothing more than a coincidence, but I find them too profound to dismiss. I believe the matrix speaks to us in symbols and I believe it is trying to tell us what really happened to MH370. There is still a lot more to this story and it involves the rabbit symbolism I mentioned in a few tweets. I’ve written about the white rabbit and it’s connection to time travel before, but maybe I will do a part 2 where I go into it in more detail another time. Anyways, as always, thanks for reading.
2020.09.24 05:39 antibashistLack of Netmap support on SG-3100 is breaking Snort Inline support
I've seen quite a few posts, dating back to 2018, where Netmap has been "in progress" and, as quickly as they start, that's where they end. It's basically crippling my ability to have reliable IDS, because I'm not interested in moving forward using the legacy method. It's kind of shocking to see that it took a year to merge the Inline changes, in the first place. This is the error:
FATAL ERROR: Can't start DAQ (-1) - start_instance: Netmap registration for port mvneta2 failed: No such file or directory (2)!
Is there any plan/progress towards actually implementing Netmap over the last 2 years, or has this been abandoned?
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